I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
