threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
