Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
