Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
