Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
