Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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