I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
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