LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
