Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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