I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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