I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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