so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
