Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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