Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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