True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
