weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she smelled like a LAN party
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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