Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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