don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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