Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
