you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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