Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
