TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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