hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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