I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
