is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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