end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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