i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dick very happy bro
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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