he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
