Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
