I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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