the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
