he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize