Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
