how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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