You smell like stripper and shame
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
