How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
