i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i believe in u and ur pee
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
