i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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