I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
