apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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