Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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