Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
