Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
only you would photoshop your dick
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They took my balls.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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