i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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