things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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