How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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