I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
