i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
