who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
