You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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