I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
