Apparently you make a good broom.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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