Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
