I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
