Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
