so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Barsexuality is the new black.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
