i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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