we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
