DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
