i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
