was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
