you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
