I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize