Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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