I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
