jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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