i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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