i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Come see our sink grown plant.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize