new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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